April Li
oxen are the hard workers in the background,
intelligent and reliable,
but never demanding praise.
this is how the traditions go:
-
- make zào táng for the kitchen god ahead of time
brew the malt candy on the stove
cook the mixture so it’s sticky
so it sweetens
the words, so it seals
the mouth together from complaints. - clean the house
to sweep away the bad luck
to hide the ugliness the residual
debris that enters our home
despite how much we pretend
it’s not there
(maybe if we dust and mop enough
the murky myths will go away)
put on a good face
everything is okay—has always been—
we have it good enough. - hang up the decorations
the paper-cuttings and banners
flimsy pieces of paper
we put on doors and windows
believe the characters they bear
are enough to grant us
prosperity and protection as long as we stay
within the walls of our home
within the square footage and the station
prescribed to us as long as we don’t seek
to fly from our nests of bamboo. - honor the ancestors
dear lǎo yé
the other day an 84-year-old thai man was killed in san francisco
a 75-year-old asian man shoved to the ground in oakland
a 61-year-old filipino slashed across the face in new york
i wonder if they too taught little feet to walk,
if they sang old folk songs as lullabies,
cracked the hard shells of sunflower seeds between their teeth
and handed over all the soft insides,
(spent their whole lives swallowing
their own needs like slices of bitter melon)
i wonder whether they left behind the empty
hands of grandchildren who miss
the lines of their weathered palms the way i miss yours. - bài nián to the elders
deny the stuffed envelopes never willingly
reach out for the bills when first offered
this is an exercise in good breeding
in filial piety once a year
in eviscerating the lǎo wài in us
prove our roots with the clumsy words in our mouths
turn away when mom and dad start bowing
before their phones an annual display of embarrassing
emotion in front of pixelated relatives
smile through the wechat video calls
tinny voices dissecting our appearances
from an ocean away wish
them xīn nián kuài lè. - gather to fold dumplings
the order goes as follows:
the youngest ones mince
garlic we learn from a small age how to compress
how to apply pressure we wait
to grow old enough to be useful
our fathers stand to roll out the skins
of dough fingers moving quick so they can keep up
the women deftly drop filling
into each wrapper fold everything together
with military precision all the edges
identical every bit of inside concealed mom
and the church aunties talk
about their college friends’ daughters coyly
compare sat scores how much
we can fit into our thin skins. assume
our places at the table generational
assembly line like a descendant
of the factories where our grandparents
worked a couple of lifetimes
ago.
- make zào táng for the kitchen god ahead of time
April Li is a first-year Journalism and English student from Connecticut. She is passionate about diverse books, em dashes, and Costco.